Cincinnati CityBeat columnist sticks head where the sun don't shine, finds gun

by Gerard Valentino

A recent article posted at CityBeat.com by Larry Gross is yet another reminder of how the anti-gun community bitterly clings to their mythical view of gun owners. Had Mr. Gross hinted that gun owners are compensating for a small penis, his diatribe would have hit on every discredited anti-gun stereotype.

According to the story, Mr. Gross admittedly doesn't understand gun owners, and also admits he shot a gun only once. Yet, complete ignorance of his subject matter didn't stop him from trying to dissect the beliefs and actions of the gun community.

From the op-ed:

Gun people: I don't pretend to understand them. I don't relate to people who carry guns, collect them or shoot them. To me, guns encourage violent behavior and are a danger to society.

I shot a gun once back when I was 11 or 12 years old. Living in the country, my father let me shoot his gun into a field. I remember the shot being loud and me falling down as the gun went off. It was scary.

I don't think my grandfather owned a gun, but he did own a rifle. Back in the 1960s and living on a large farm, he would go hunting for deer or rabbit. I understand this. He was shooting for food to put on the table. He wasn't looking for a fight with another human being.

In urban society, guns kill people. I don't go along with this bullshit that guns don't kill people, that people kill people. If a regular citizen wasn't allowed to carry a gun, then the temptation wouldn't be there to pull the trigger when tempers flare. This especially holds true in bars.

I don't get why Ohio Governor John Kasich signed into law late last June that it's now legal to carry a concealed weapon into a bar. Common sense says that guns and alcohol don't mix.

...I'm for gun control. Yes, I want to take away your gun. I believe only a few people should be allowed to have them, and if wishing could make it so, here are some gun laws I'd like to see.

Gross opined on the effect of legally carried guns in bars without apparently having lifted a finger to properly research how similar laws have fared in other states. Instead, he used a common anti-gun tactic by claiming to somehow know that concealed handgun license holders can't handle carrying guns in places that serve alcohol, while failing to give one single piece of evidence to support his claim.

Most puzzling, however, was a statement by Mr. Gross that gun owners can choose to carry a gun "up your ass."

How Mr. Gross completed his research for the basis of his statement remains a mystery.

Since the rest of his anti-gun ravings are based on his own admitted lack of experience with gun owners, or his own interactions with a criminal, we have to assume Mr. Gross used experience from his own life as a basis for thinking gun owners keep guns up their ass.

Such a theory that supports the idea that Mr. Gross spends a lot of time with his head up his own ass – giving him an intimate knowledge of the subject matter.

That not only explains his knowledge of asses, but also explains the complete lack of evidence for his theory that guns legally carried in places that serve alcohol are a recipe for disaster.

Had Mr. Gross removed his head from his ass long enough to research crime rates for states that already let legally carried guns in bars, he might have realized at least 42 other states allow the practice without a threat to public safety. Texas does a great job of identifying crimes committed by concealed carry permit holders and the data is easily found via a simple Google search.

Clearly, from the confines of his own ass, however, Mr. Gross lacked the means to properly study the gun issue, and despite his admitted ignorance of the subject, tried to dissect the psychological make-up of gun owners.

The good news is that voters, judges and elected officials have long since discredited the baseless ravings of the anti-gun community, which explains the expansion of gun rights over the last 20 years. We still need to be vigilant in protecting our rights, however, because if given the chance, people like Mr. Gross will continue to attack gun rights, and gun owners.

Luckily, the anti-gun side is led by people like Mr. Gross, who clearly spends quite a bit of time with his head stuck up his ass, which gives us a great opportunity to expand gun rights, instead of lose them.

Gerard Valentino, a former military intelligence analyst, is a member of the Buckeye Firearms Foundation Board of Directors and the author of "The Valentino Chronicles – Observations of a Middle Class Conservative," available through the Buckeye Firearms Association store.