The Idiot Chronicles, Volume 2 : Your Elected Representative Michael Foley

by Ken Hanson, Esq.

"Never ascribe to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity."

While there is no definitive source for this quote (conflicting sources have it going all the way back to Napoleon), it clearly encompasses two things that are happening in the media coverage of the two Restaurant Carry bill spending in the Ohio General Assembly. The malice is coming from those opposing the law. These groups are spreading deliberate misinformation as wide and as far as possible. The stupidity is coming from those who listen to them.

A good example of this is the floor speech given May 11, 2011 by Representative Michael Foley (D-14) in opposition to H.B. 45, which would allow licensees to enter a liquor facility, so long as they are not under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and so long as the person does not consume alcohol while on premises. Rep. Foley felt compelled to give some examples from his District in explaining why he is opposed to this law.

I live in a district, Mr. Speaker, that's got a lot of bars in it. On Lorain Avenue between 105th Avenue -- 105th -- West 105th and 182nd, I looked up, I've got 37 D Permit Licenses just on that one street alone. Most of them are very good bars and restaurants, respectable owners, people live in the community even folks who live in the neighborhood who care about their establishments, care about the community, care about the neighborhood. There's a bunch that don't, though, who are just, you know, running bars. They're the typical what we call at least in Cleveland just basic punch palaces where there's fights every night, police are called out all the time and they're problematic.

Rep. Foley, what are you waiting on? You state you are opposed to H.B. 45 on the grounds that these "punch palaces" are going to be a problem if this law is passed. It sounds like they are a problem now. So why are these places still open?

With 37 places to drink on one street, surely your constituents aren't going to miss a few of these urban-combat zones if they are closed. Your fellow legislator Joseph Cimperman on Cleveland City Council has clearly identified the root of the problem. As reported by the Cleveland Plain Dealer, this City Councilman understands these "punch palaces" are currently a problem, and unlike you, Rep. Foley, Councilman Cimperman is taking effective action that squarely addresses the problem with a scalpel rather than a sledgehammer.

Cimperman, the downtown councilman, said he has been trying to have the club's liquor license revoked for months. "It's been open less than a year and the police are often going there in response to people fighting, people congregating in the parking lot late after the club closes causing trouble," he said. "We had a hearing with the [liquor control] board that was recently rescheduled. A new hearing is coming up, and we hope to have the license pulled. This summer will not be like last summer," Cimperman pledged, referring to numerous incidents of violence in downtown bars last year, including in the nearby Warehouse District. "We will not tolerate this." (emphasis added)

Councilman Cimperman easily grasps what is so elusive to Rep. Foley – if there is an establishment where, in Rep. Foley's words, "there's fights every night," then those places are clearly problems NOW, and those places need to be put out of business.

I don't think I will ever be patronizing an establishment on Lorain Ave. between 105th and 182nd. I don't think any of the people getting into nightly fights in these establishments will ever be patronizing an establishment in Powell, Ohio. Yet, somehow in Rep. Foley's mind, because his constituents cannot control their drinking or the serving booze to violent, intoxicated patrons, the 99.99% of Ohio’s citizens who DON'T go to these establishments should be punished for the actions of his reckless constituents.

Wouldn't it be much more logical for Rep. Foley to borrow a page from Councilman Cimperman's book and instead target the demonstrated problem versus the imagined problem?

In closing, Rep. Foley hits the anti-gun talking point that we are now somehow requiring bartenders to enforce this law. (See Idiot Chronicles Part 1.)

So who's going to enforce this legislation? Well, it's going to be the people who work in that bar, all right. And if you've got someone who's got a CCW, they've got a gun on them and they've started drinking, well, you know, who's responsible for enforcing that? Well, seems to me it should be up to the bar. It should be up to that 110-pound, 5'2" woman who's now serving alcohol to that person.

Wow, budget problem solved. Now, according to Rep. Foley, citizens are responsible for enforcing Ohio's felony laws. People need not worry about all the police layoffs because now Ohio has deputized every waiter, waitress and bartender. (The appropriate tip for this new wave of law enforcement is still 15-20%, depending upon how quick, fresh and accurate their arrest was.)

Call me a skeptic, but I am guessing the staff will still be calling the police to enforce Ohio's laws.

Coming next in Volume III – More elected Representatives and their idiotic floor speeches.

Ken Hanson is a gun rights attorney in Ohio. He serves as the Legislative Chair for Buckeye Firearms Association, and is the attorney of record for Buckeye Firearms Foundation, which filed friend-of-the-court briefs in the Heller and McDonald Supreme Court cases. The National Rifle Association's Institute for Legislative Action (NRA-ILA) has awarded him with its 2008 Defender of Justice Award and 2009 Jay M. Littlefield Volunteer of the Year Award. He is the author of The Ohio Guide to Firearm Laws, a certified firearms instructor and holds a Type 01 Federal Firearms License.

Related Articles:
The Idiot Chronicles, Volume 1: "Restaurant Carry & Bartenders"

The Idiot Chronicles, Volume 4: Your elected Representative Mark Okey