If Toby Hoover was Chief Executive Officer...

IMPORTANT NOTE: The following parody, by OFCC's Rick Jones, was adapted from a recently-published Ohio news story about a woman who says she is being discriminated against at work because of her religious beliefs (the original story may be accessed by clicking here). Very few words were changed.

Since some gun ban extremists like Toby Hoover are encouraging people not to "hire, socialize, or share public space with those who carry hidden guns", could stories like this about those who exercise their right to choose to bear arms for self-defense at work be far off?

Summer, 2005

ANYWHERE, OH - For one city woman in particular, carrying a handgun for self-defense is sacred -- and she says she should not lose a job because of it.

"Jesus told his disciples to sell their clothes buy swords for self-protection. It's in the Bible that we care for and protect one another," Sunny Sally, 48, of Main Street said. "I was raised this way. My mother instilled it in me, and my grandmother instilled it in me. My mother worked two jobs to take care of us, as a single parent, and she never was without a means to protect her children."

She said attends numerous training sessions on firearms and self-defense, and is a part-time volunteer instructor.

"I was very upfront with everybody about my beliefs."

Sally is suing Major Inc., saying she was fired from its Main Street store because of her beliefs.

In a lawsuit filed in Anywhere County Common Pleas Court, Sally seeks reinstatement to her job, back pay, lost benefits, forward pay, punitive damages, court costs and attorney fees.

The lawsuit claims Sally’s inalienable rights of self-preservation were violated.

A spokesperson at Major Inc.'s headquarters said it is standard practice at Major to require employees to work while being unarmed.

"Anyone hired into the company knows we're a retail operation, 24/7, and you have to work defenseless. Employees are told that coming in," he said.

But Sally said when she applied to work at Major, both the woman who interviewed her and her future boss told her it would be all right to work while carrying concealed, she said.

She said she worked in her department for about a year before the store's corporate management began instructing her to work defenseless.

Hardy said she was a hard worker; "I always worked weekends and holidays. I always did whatever they asked me to."

Months after she began working there, Major officials told her mid-level store employees were wrong when they told her she could not protect herself against possible attack, she said. They even told her she was not allowed her to leave her firearm in her car, thereby disallowing her the ability even to protect herself to and from work. To make matters even worse, her schedule was changed to work only night shift.

Sally said she believes a few co-workers complained because she was allowed to carry concealed.

Her pastor, the Rev. Moses, wrote Major a letter supporting her position before her termination, Sally said.

"He stood behind me," she said.

The pastor could not be reached for comment Thursday.

Sally said she was terminated after she was questioned about concealed carry three times in a row, repeatedly telling store officials she never went unarmed because of her beliefs.

"One of the managers told me later if you'd have lied and said you were unarmed, there was not a whole lot we could have done about it."

As a CHL-holder, Sally has passed a LEADS background check, has had instructors training and has been issued a concealed carry permit in three states.

"How much do they know about their other employees?" she asked.

Sally has been out of work since she was let go, and said she filed a complaint with the Equal Opportunity Employment Commission in Somewhere. The federal agency directed her to hire her own attorney, she said.

She said Major offered a $1,000 settlement during the EEOC case, if she signed a piece of paper saying she quit. "I said, 'No way.' "